The Adventures of My Fantroll
by pumpkinsandbuckets
Summary: Your name is Spheni Petrik and you're friends with Karkat and the other trolls who you don't care about. Also, your lusus is a penguin.
1. Introduce yourself

**((this is probably the suckiest fantroll ever..im just doing this for fun, when i have time or when i get bored..))**

**((i dont own homestuck or alternia or any of these trolls..just my fantroll..or do i?))**

**== Introduce Yourself**

Your name is SPHENI PETRIK.

As what can be seen in your room, you have quite the passion for PENGUINS. You absolutely adore those little shits. Everything you do is associated with them. You actually think that one day, penguins shall take over all of Alternia, that's why you are doing your best to help them. And you help them by MAKING DEADLY WEAPONS, mostly guns, though. You think guns are the best.

But then again, you have an interest in the so-called MAJJYKS. How the hell can you summon things with just a blink of the eye? That really heightens your curiousity.

You also live in a place full of ice and snow. It's actually the only place in Alternia that has it. You don't even know how that happened, but you like it here. Other trolls might think it's really cold but you think the temperature's really fine. Maybe it's because of your troll blood. Your race is actually endangered already. Maybe there's like only twenty of you left. And you haven't seen anyone of them before. Maybe it's because they'd like to stay inside and be cozy and all? Who knows? What you know is that you're different from them and you like adventures.

You also have a trolltag. It is dancingFlippers and surprisingly you type normally because quirks are annoying and give you headaches.

I've really got nothing to say now so what do you want to do?

**== Examine posters**

Oh, those posters. Your lovely posters which consists of the same penguin. Mumble.

**== That dancing penguin from Happy Feet?**

Yes, that dancing penguin from Happy Feet. You love that penguin so much. You've actually thought of having a romantic attraction for him. You're really weird. But troll Elijah Wood just made Mumble much more perfect. You started loving him from Lord of the Rings and oh, look, you also got one LotR poster hidden in the corner of your room.

You love the movie but not that much. You just think it's cool because of the majyyks and stuff. You actually found a new movie with majyyks, too, and it's called Troll Harry Potter. You think the 'troll' in the name is actually stupid. It's obviously a troll so why even put that? Anyway, you might just read the books, though. They say it's better. And you say that's right because books are always the best.

**== Spheni's really boring. Be Karkat.**

Oh.. OH. oH. oh. You do not do that in my fanfiction, bitch. There shall be no 'Be other troll' here. Just Spheni 'cause she's cool and she's my fantroll so back off, betch.

**== Wow. Touchy. Go along with your story then. Asshole.**

I am not an asshole. And if it would make you feel better, let's just go and troll Karkat. Would that make you happy?

**== Yeah. Sure. Whatevs.**

You open trollian and troll your friend.

dancingFlippers[DF] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]

DF: hey .

CG: UGH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED NOW. IF IT'S JUST GOING TO BE ABOUT ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR STUPID GADGETS, I FUCKING DON'T CARE.

CG: GO TELL SOLLUX ABOUT THAT. OR ERIDAN. OR EVEN EQUIUS.

CG: JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

DF: i havent even said anything though . and i really dont like sollux . his typing makes me dizzy . eridans an asshole . and equius is just . no .

CG: OH I AM VERY FUCKING SORRY FOR BEING SO STUPIDLY SENSITIVE.

CG: I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOUR FEELINGS INTO FUCKING CONSIDERATION.

CG: BUT I DIDN'T BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

DF: karkat thats just mean .

CG: AND YOU ARE ANNOYING.

DF: youve already said that to me already . tell me something new .

CG: YOU ARE A BITCH.

DF: yawn .

CG: YOU ARE REALLY SUCH A LITTLE SHIT.

CG: I HATE YOU.

DF: karkat if you really want to keep me away you should just say so politely .

CG: OH?

CG: IS THAT FUCKING ALL?

CG: THEN PLEASE GO THE FUCK AWAY BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

DF: =.=

CG: WHY ARE YOU NOT GOING AWAY? I ALREADY SAID PLEASE, YOU ASSHAT.

DF: thats because i dont want to go . i still have to tell you something .

CG: BUT I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

DF: just hear me out okay ?

DF: i really want to talk to somebody about it .

DF: please .

CG: OK.

CG: BUT FUCK YOU.

DF: you dont really have to include that last part .

DF: it ruins the mood .

CG: WHAT MOOD?

DF: you know . the mood .

CG: FUCK

CG: HOLY SHIT

CG: ARE YOU GONNA

CG: SHIT

CG: FUCKFUCKFUCK OH FUCK

CG: I CANNOT

CG: NO

DF: what the fuck is wrong with you .

CG: YOU'RE GOING TO CONFESS TO ME, AREN'T YOU?

DF: . . .

DF: =.=

DF: you stupid asshole .

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, BITCH?

DF: karkat were not going to finish this if you keep being such a douche .

CG: WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO CONFESS YOUR DYING LOVE FOR ME ALREADY.

CG: I'M ACTUALLY WAITING HERE.

CG: AREN'T YOU SURPRISED? I AM ACTUALLY FUCKING WAITING.

CG: BECAUSE AFTER THIS, YOU'LL BE GONE.

CG: THAT'S HOW FUCKING PATIENT I AM.

DF: karkat will you just shut the fuck up for a moment .

DF: and who said about confessing my dying love for you ?

DF: thats total shit . i dont like you that way okay ?

CG: THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST FUCKING SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE?

CG:

CG: THAT WAS PRETTY DOUCHY OF ME, ISN'T IT?

CG: SAYING YOU LIKE ME AND ALL THAT.

CG: SORRY.

DF: youre really making me laugh right now .

CG: BUT I AM NOT SAYING SORRY ABOUT HATING YOU. YOU GOT THAT?

DF: will you just let me tell you what im supposed to say to you ?

CG: GO AHEAD.

DF: well my lusus is gone and i dont know where she is .

DF: you know how my lusus is . shes an adorable little shit who constantly makes me get mad but in the end i still love her .

CG: AWW

CG: SO FUCKING CUTE.

CG: IS THAT ALL? I'M OUT THEN.

DF: karkat no . fuck you .

DF: its actually been 3 days that shes gone . shes usually gone for just about half a day until now .

CG: SHE MIGHT HAVE LEFT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING ANNOYING HER OR SOMETHING.

CG: OR SHE MIGHT JUST HAVE FOUND SOMEONE TO LOVE.

DF: are you .

DF: did you just .

DF: can lusus even fall in love ?

CG: HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW? THAT WAS JUST A FUCKING SUGGESTION.

DF: that wasnt a suggestion . you were implying something .

CG: WHATEVER.

CG: I DON'T FUCKING CARE.

CG: OH SHIT

CG: TEREZI'S TROLLING ME.

CG: I GOT TO GO.

carcinoGeneticist[CG] ceased getting trolled by dancingFlippers[DF]

And once again, he is gone because of that Pyrope girl.

You actually like Karkat. You just said that you didn't because you don't want to ruin your relationship with him and he obviously likes Terezi. Not like you care anyway. You've got bigger problems right now and it is your missing lusus. Where is she anyway?

**((that was quite the long pesterlog..it's the only thing that made this chapter long..i didnt plan any of this by the way, just letting it flow as i write because im bored...some of this doesnt even make sense, like her way of typing..i just dont know how i should do it..so i just made it plain..but please, dont take this fanfic too seriously because some of it just might really dont make any sense))**

**((by the way, i got her name from the scientific name of penguins sphenicidae and the petrik name..you'll have to find out..and yeah, i love penguins))**


	2. Admire that drawing of your ancestor

**((seriously, this chapter became so much stupid..continue at your own risk))**

**==Admire that drawing of your ancestor.**

No. You will not do that because you shouldn't waste time. Your lusus is waiting for you.

**==Admire that drawing of your ancestor.**

You do not follow that command. You are tempted but you really mustn't waste time. So to avoid this temptation, you just prepared yourself for a long journey. You really don't know if it's long but what if? One can never be sure. But you also don't know where to find your lusus. Where on earth did she went to, anyway?

You hope that you can find clues.

**==Admire that drawing of your ancestor.**

Please stop. That command should be Find clues, so that is what you will do.

You looked around your room to find if there's any clue that your lusus might have left.

Oh, what is this you found? The drawing of your ancestor sticking on your door.

**==ADMIRE THAT DRAWING OF YOUR ANCESTOR. NOW.  
**

OK. FUCK.

You admire that drawing of your ancestor which Vriska drew for you. You really don't like that bitch but you both share the passion of loving your ancestors and you love her drawings. She doesn't like you, too, and didn't want to draw for you but once you praised her, she instantly did. If only you two like each other, you'd be great friends.

Why do you even hate her?

You don't really hate her. You just don't like her because you don't like anyone.

**==That doesn't make any sense. And you're still not admiring that drawing.**

It doesn't have to make sense. Some things don't have to make sense. That's just how life goes.

**==Wow. Is that your motto or something?**

Yes. Yes it is.

Anyway, you started kissing that drawing. It's really creepy. What's great with your ancestor, anyway?

Well, she not only cared for penguins, but she also saved your blood line. Your blood line was already endangered in her time because there's not much ice. Your species need cold temperature to live so she used all her powers to create more ice and it is where you're living now. She sacrifices herself and it's really making you cry.

But as time passes by, the ice is starting to melt again and those living close to where it melts, died. Yet there was this thing called adaptation. Trolls with the same blood as yours start to adapt with the warm temperature, but only few adapted, and you're one of them. This is why few of you are left today.

Isn't it sad? Your ancestor sacrificed herself to save you but in the end, it's still the same.

**==Tell us the name of your ancestor.**

It was just a normal name. Gunter Petrik. Nothing special but it doesn't matter to you. What matters is what she has done.

**==It's stupid. It doesn't follow the 8-letter naming format for ancestors.**

Who says I have to follow that, hm? And it's really hard to find a name. Please be sensitive.

**==You're just stupid.**

Please shut up. You're ruining my fanfiction.

**==What fanfiction? You're just talking to yourself by doing this stupid dialogs which doesn't make sense.**

I repeat, some stuff doesn't have to make sense. That's how life goes.

And please let me continue my story.

**==Gog, please stop saying please. It's annoying.**

Ok, sure. Just let me continue this shit.

**==Go ahead. Let Spheni talk about her lusus instead.**

You remember that you're looking for clues, but you really can't find any. Damn lusus, always giving you headaches.

Also, you really don't like calling her lusus. You call her Gunter. You named her after your ancestor. It's really weird, though. Your lusus should be the one taking care of you but it's the other way around. You're the one who has to keep up with Gunter's mess. You always making him go stand in a corner whenever she does something stupid, like breaking one of your glass models of guns. She likes breaking your things.

Yet in the end, you still love her. That's because she's a penguin and you can never hate penguins. If she was a polar bear, you would have killed her long ago.

**==Now that's just mean to polar bears.**

Shut up.

**==Captchalogue stuff and get on with it.**

Your fetch modus is called a pick up modus. It's just picking up stuff. You really don't like complicated stuff, and the author is also not creative. I can't think of a good modus, so yeah, whatevs.

You captchalogue a book entitled The Hobbit Troll (it's the prologue for LotR). You can never go outside without a book so you must always carry one. You also captchalogue some bits and pieces which you don't know what are called so you'll just name them bits and pieces. You might need them in creating weapons. Lastly, you captchalogue your freeze ray. It's your latest invention and you'll need it to fight and when you need something cold.

What else should you bring?

**==Your computer, dummy.**

Oh right, stupid me for forgetting to write that.

Just when you were about to captchalogue it, someone starts trolling you.

Who might that be?

**((i dont know what to write next so thats it for this chapter...and yes, i love Gunter..if you dont know where she is, she's that penguin from adventure time..im making Spheni and her lusus' relationship like Ice King and Gunter's..and im making Spheni act like Gunter, too..Gunter's an adorable little shit and im making Spheni like that...yeah, i just love Gunter that much))**


End file.
